Thursday, April 24, 2008

Storms of Life

Late afternoon storm over Jackson Lake, Teton National Park

Bear with me ya'll, this is undoubtedly a bit deep and not so light-hearted...

This morning (it's 5:44 a.m. and not a creature is stirring) my heart is filled with gratitude toward our Heavenly Father. The circumstances that bring about this heart condition are a bit complex to explain but I'll give it the ol' college try.

A friend of some acquaintances of mine was recently diagnosed with acute leukemia. Not only does this hit close to home because of my own battle with cancer, but I feel a special kinship to this woman because she is a young mother of two small children, both girls. Her children, too, attend a private Christian school (the only other one in Bozeman) and she, too, is a stay-at-home mom. For some time she had been feeling unwell but repeated visits to her physician revealed nothing. Finally, after months and months of seeking answers she was diagnosed with end-stage leukemia, was air lifted to a Seattle hospital, and is now in a fight for her life.

This woman's perspective is one to be appreciated. Unfailingly she has said that God is good ALL the time, and that she has peace about the entire situation. This doesn't mean that she hasn't been scared, or hurt, or lonely, or unsure of things. This means that the LORD is her rock and that with that foundation there is no room for shifting sand! I find myself asking whether I, in the same circumstances, at this point in my life, would boldly proclaim what she is proclaiming?

What many of you do not know is that I recently had reason to consider the above question. Although I have been cured of cancer for nearly three years now, the possibility of recurrence does exist, albeit that the risk is slight. I also learned in the recent past that current research reveals that the occurrence of Osteosarcoma (my cancer, although it feels weird calling it mine) rends a seven fold greater chance of contracting another form of cancer during my lifetime. Add these components to some recent alarming blood results and I had an equation that summed fear! I trust God, I do, but the unsurity of the situation led my mind down paths that ended in places I cared not go. Did you catch that in the previous sentence I said, "I trust God, but..."? This my friends, is why I find myself in awe of this leukemic woman's outlook.

The fact of the matter is that I've been there, done that. The fact of the matter is that time and again God revealed himself mighty and powerful and sovereign over all during my fight against Osteosarcoma. The fact of the matter is that in a time that could have been wrought with sadness and pain God granted me absolute times of beauty and offered me grace like you couldn't imagine. The fact of the matter is that my time through cancer was TRULY one of the most blessed times in my life. So why do I fear? I fear because circumstances are different from the year-and-a-half I spent in the hospital undergoing surgeries and multiple rounds of chemo. I am now married with three small children and loaded with responsibilities that aren't negotiable...or so I think. Isn't God LORD over all? Isn't He bigger than the "impossible"? Isn't He good no matter what?

To the relief of many, myself among the most relieved of all, I learned at an appointment on this past Monday that I do not have cancer. Praise God! And you know what - praise God for the outlook of one seriously ill young mother that puts things into perspective for me (easy for me to say, I know)!

When the storms of life come (and they will my friends, they will) where will God find you? Will you be tossed about by waves of uncertainty or will you be found standing firm on the Foundation that is indestructibly built? I pray that both you and I can boldly stand firm in the LORD, no matter the circumstance. God is good, all the time!

1 comment:

My Journey with Cancer said...

Thank you so much for your words this morning. This is the first time I have read your blog and it won't be the last. God's spirit flows through your words and was food for my soul this morning. We have lived through a diagnosis of Osteosarcoma with my 20 year old son this past year. From diagnosis to chemo to surgery to chemo to complications after surgery and more surgery....we have trusted our Lord Jesus Christ and he has sustained us. He is my strong tower and my rock. My son also has a very positive outlook and a unfailing trust in his Lord.
Thanks and God Bless you and your family.